Do you prioritise finding love over loving yourself? Watch this
Hayley Quinn, UK’s leading dating expert, talks about finding love in this TEDx Talk.
She starts by talking about how she met this person that she was incredibly attached to. And because everything was going well, she ignored the warning signs. “I soon became unwell, when I was miscarrying our baby. At that point, when I was at my weakest, he left.”
“When I got up, I found our house had been stripped bare. I walked around those rooms like an animal, howling. At the end of all that love, I had nothing,” she says in the video.
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“On the floor that day, when I had nothing, I still had myself,” she says.
“We chase love because we think it’s the ultimate solution to ourselves. Now I have a minimalist approach to love,” she reflects.
“The desire for attachment is natural and good. But, I think sometimes how we go about it is a bit weird. It feels like loneliness is the driver behind dating, not the need to experience love itself.” she continues.
She emphasises on how the answer lies within ourselves. She suggests how the culture forces us to find love. She states when you’re focusing on the perfect relationship, you’re actually not focusing on your inner self that needs healing. It’s important to know who you are, before you seek out someone else.
“Life is pretty dramatic as it is, and you don’t need to create any more. When we confront our aloneness, when we’re not running from it, when you don’t need a destructive on-off relationship, when you can just be…I actually kind of think that’s real love,” she concludes.
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